Denise Dances: A Return to Perfect Health - Body, Mind & Spirit!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

"Called to the Vineyard and Everywhere Else"

Hi! First I want to say that I just love this beautiful fall weather! A little cooler and crisper would be even better!
Denise, Weeding & Watering at "Westridge Gardens," Summer 2008
At first, I had decided not to "push religion" with this Blog Site. I try to keep an open mind and I have respect for all religions. Also, I would like my message to appeal to people of all faiths.
Westridge Gardens, New London, CT (Summer 2008)
I was born and raised Catholic, got disillusioned in my difficulties, but I always go back to the Catholic church, or at least I return to its values. I've "visited" a Lutheran Church, a Unitarian Universalist Church, a born again Christian church, and an Episcopalian church. I always go back to the Catholic church or like I said, to the Catholic values. It is usually something outstanding that someone does for me, who is of the Catholic faith. I'm not saying it is the right religion for everyone. The Catholic faith teaches me: Humility, Poverty, Simplicity, Love, Longsuffering, Charity, Kindness, Patience, Perseverance, Fortitude, and uh-oh, "that word I hate," Sacrifice.
Westridge Gardens, Summer 2008 In this blog, I've made reference to Native American influences ("Ode to a Tipi") and the idea of nature; past lives (in describing my experiences as a teacher and my hunger problem), Chinese Medicine (in describing how Paula's cat Indy "discovered" my uterine fibroids -- the Chinese believe in reincarnation), and life after death (in describing how I feel able to "commune" with Paula's Spirit).
Westridge Gardens, Summer 2008 But this morning, I felt moved to include this doctrine I discovered today. It is from a newsletter of St. Joseph's Church in New London, CT. It describes the workers hired in the vineyard early in the morning who were paid the same wage as the workers who were hired later in the day. "It doesn't seem right, does it? Not fair at all! But then there's Isaiah: 'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord' (Isaish 55:8). "We are called to do the Lord's work, but each of us does it in our own individual way. 'Fruitful labor,' Paul calls it...so it doesn't matter if you are a farmer or a brain surgeon, a student or a teacher, a preacher or the person in the last pew." "Regardless of how we interpret God's call to us or our own unique circumstances, may we ("mais oui!!"),....be ever mindful of our truest calling." Being born into a family of small business owners and entrepreneurs has not been easy for me. I've tried to make it in the business world, first as a sales department secretary in New York in the late 1980s. Next as a temporary secretary for three years in southeastern Connecticut. And next, as a teacher from 1995 until 2006. And also as a cashier and a bagger in several grocery stores. Each "incarnation" has taken its toll on my health and well-being. I guess that's what happens when you are not being true to yourself. It wasn't really until my friend Paula came along that I think I know what I want to do. For the past two summers, I have enjoyed being a volunteer landscape gardener at my residence. I did it because I enjoyed it. I didn't have to get in the car and drive. I was able to work alone, dealing with my neighbors just a little bit, and always one on one. Best of all, I was able to work outside. The flower gardens are beautiful and colorful. I hope to post photos soon. Also, I laugh to think that I work well as part of a team -- but only if I can work alone! There were two ladies that did the spring planting. There were only three or four of us that did some weeding and watering in the evenings. Now the growing season is over and I feel good about a job well done. And that my life isn't about making money. Not yet, anyway. It took someone who got to know me and spend a lot of time with me, to see me and influence me about the kind of work I do best. Thank You, Paula!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Back in the "Swing" of Things!

Hi! Back from the first Shoreline Swing monthly dance of the season. Saturday, Sept. 20th 7:30 PM: Beginner Lesson 8:30 - 11 PM: Dancing to a live band, Roger Ceresi & the All Stars Featuring Fun, Food & Good Friends, Old & New, Young & Old, Heavy or Slim! THE BETRAYAL During the day, I walked off my anger on the Ocean Beach Boardwalk. Anger at someone I've come to trust, thought of as my "friend," and whom I've depended on for a safe place to live. Found out he revealed some personal information about me that I don't wish to have shared, at a pizza place where we used to go. Walked out of the joint before my drink could come. Called the place up, asked for the owner's son. Told him how he humiliated me by shouting my personal information across a crowded restaurant. His father begged me to come back, that I am like family to them, not a customer (although I always pay) and that I can slap his son's face. But I don't think I will. So I called my "friend" who betrayed me and told him off. That he better make things right with me. When he said he wasn't responsible for what I asked him to do, I told him he would have to answer to God for what he had done to me. So I did give him an ultimatum. But he refused it. There is nothing left for me to do but move. I think I would feel so much better if I were free of him and the nosy, meddlesome neighbors who keep harrassing me, and the pizza place, too. After I told off my "friend" of the past ten years, I realized something strange. I didn't feel SO TIRED anymore!! The next day, I called someone I know from a local church who had promised to help me find housing in time of need. She is looking for a "cooperative living" situation appropriate to my income but I really just wish I could live alone. And she should know of something in a week. And my situation isn't as unusual as I think. That afternoon, I was able to walk on Ocean Beach -- and even to sit in the sand under the sun for a while, something I haven't been able to do all summer. On the drive to the first swing dance of the season, in the car all alone (or was I??), -- I realized something. I had finally expressed my anger at the person who I was truly mad at -- instead of my best friend Paula. Often, when my "friend" would piss me off, I would yell at Paula or write her a nasty note instead. However hurt she would feel, Paula always stood by me because she knew who I was really angry with. And the only reason I was able to finally tell him off was because -- she's not here anymore!! Or is she? I know she would be glad, IS glad that I finally vented my anger at the right person! (Although I realize that he is not "the right person" for me!!) They say that "anger turned inward turns into depression." I've had Chronic Fatigue since the Fall (early October) of 2005 when I walked out of my "friend's" condo for good. Something he said. Paula always said that someday he was going to "do something." And that would be it for me. I have a feeling I may not be feeling so tired anymore!! (Although I did get dizzy after just a few dances last Saturday night! For more information on the Shoreline Swing monthly dances, go to: http://www.Shorelineswingct.org And sleeping better on some nights now!!) Could it be because I don't feel so angry anymore? And that I would consider a return to perfect health "payment enough!!"