Thursday, December 4, 2008
"Strength Made Perfect in Weakness" Hi! OK, so I don't know if this phrase I picked from the Bible needs any further explanation. "Strength made perfect in weakness." The "apostle" Paul in his "epistles" writes of a "thorn" in his side which he begs God to remove. I guess he says, "But not my will be done, but thine -- yours." Which I have trouble with! But Paul acknowledges that if this thorn cannot be removed, thus, his strength is made perfect in his weakness. No one likes to lose control, to be "disabled" in any way. Seeing my father in a convalescent home for the past year does make me uncomfortable. And even seeing the elderly walking with canes or in wheelchairs, or other physical disability makes me uncomfortable. Why? I think it reminds me of myself (doesn't everything?), in that, what has been thought of as a psychiatric or mental disability for me, seems to me to have a physical cause now. Receiving the help I've needed to care for Diabetes Type II through "chance" meetings with special people in my life -- has helped me immensely (while still being "me.") I know I've helped myself a lot, but I couldn't have done it without the special people that have come into my life. People who have known me for years see the difference. It hasn't "put out the fire" but I think things are more under control now with --- you guessed it -- DIET AND EXCERCISE!! ("Love and acceptance?" Hmmmm...that's another story. The TV bio of Coco Chanel, the now famous clothing designer and perfumer comes to mind. She was born very poor. Had no family to speak of, was orphaned, I believe and had a sister. Attended school for sewing and fashion design, but dropped out to pursue a relationship, considered "sordid" at the time. Was never treated well in public as "a woman of no means." She was a "barracuda" with "a terrible personality." Suffered through the failed relationship, met the one she really loved. He bought her a store. Because she loved him, she put her talents to work. In the end, she was finally recognized and applauded in a crowded room for her talents! Of course, I cried at the end, so much so that my nose got very plugged up! Can't do that too often!) Today, Coco Chanel is one of the most world renowned designers for fashion and perfume. And my personal favorite! "And now you know the rest of the story. Good Day!"
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Hi! Um, I thought I was going to wrap this up (pun intended? Christmas is coming!), this Blog thing. But being an artistic writer-loner type of person can be very isolating. However, if you are not true to yourself, you will learn that you can't serve two masters. And while you do need money to EAT, if you get too caught up in the world of money and "nice" things, status and wealth, instead of health and simple things, it will bring about certain sickness and death, either to you or to the one you love. I've seen it. I've lived it. Being an artistic (autistic?? I don't like people that much...I don't like anyone around me too much...Don't do well with conversation with most people...I don't like "just anyone" touching me, either!) writer-loner type can be very isolating. This Blog has been my way of being heard. But for those of you that have "overheard" me, you can choose not to read or to stop reading whenever you like! (Doubt you will, though!) :) OK, so I have been trying to get my health back through diet and excercise and the R&R type of activities which I can afford, which "suit" me, which I enjoy, that aren't "immoral, illegal or fattening!" In the past couple of weeks, I broke from my "comfortable routine." And I am paying the price now. (Hunger and fatigue) Trying out the Trillium Garden Club, I learned, is not for me. I think I make a better "S.O.B.!" (Volunteer on the 7-member Nature Walk Committee at "Save Ocean Beach" in New London). We'll see...small groups, some solitary work, and working with crew members of the Coast Guard!! See you at the beach!! (To you, Lynne!) Also, I hadn't realized how much the world of book publishing has changed since I left New York in October 1991. I did work for a large publishing company, McGraw-Hill, Inc. while I lived there (residing in many different neighborhoods) from June 1987-October 1991, quitting very suddenly due to burn-out after busting my butt for three and a half years. New England hasn't exactly been "life on the farm" either. I was far removed from the publishing aspect of the business, however. After being a full-time in-house temp for several months at McGraw-Hill, I settled with Commodity Information Services, the department in the company which earned the highest revenue for the entire corporation. (Went through several name changes, at one point almost becoming "Petroleum Information Group Services! "P.I.G.S.," I joked!) It was a fast-paced world of business and sales of electronic and paper reports on oil and gas prices which we sold to traders on Wall Street! I was Sales Department Secretary, answered an 8-line phone. There was no voicemail back then, not for me, anyway. I did begin a novel about this certain lifestyle, in and outside the office, which has remained unfinished to this day, although it is type-written in a hard-cover binder, and copyrighted. After attending last night's workshop on book publishing here at the Groton Library, I am finding life "out there" to be more daunting then ever. If you are not already a best-selling author, ie, Tom Clancy, Michael Crichton, good luck!! I loved the guest speaker, whose name slips my mind right now, but I will be glad to give her a plug. She resides in Redding, has 25 years experience in several publishing companies, with a variety of occupations in teaching and publishing. I found her to be very youthful and vibrant, even though I believe she is slightly older than I am, and the publishing industry to be very fluid as well. People move around a lot; they don't stay in one place. Made me wonder once again what I am doing here in Connecticut: Staid? (Where people have "stayed" so long.) She said that the people who work behind the scenes in publishing aren't highly paid. They do it because they love books. So there it is: you can't serve two masters. For more info on getting YOUR book published, go to: http://bookpublishingteacher.blogspot.com/ for Jan Kardys at her new literary agency, "Black Hawk Enterprises" in Redding, CT. Yesterday, while on the computer, I looked at an aerial view of New London, via satellite map. To get a "vibe" on the place where I live. And from that bird's eye view, I got that -- New London, Connecticut is too perfect!! The streets, all labeled, on a grid; the houses, all in perfect rows, equidistant, all square. The well manicured lawns and parks. Old. Settled. Established. Boring. Staid. Stayed. Where if something or someone doesn't fit, at least on the outside, they try to "flush out the perpetrator." Marriage. Families. Poor or rich. Not "in between." If you're not quite "right," "less than perfect," watch out!